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Should kink go mainstream?
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Prof. Tom
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Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Posts: 197
Location: From our great studio in Roger's Park, Chicago

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 7:53 am    Post subject: Should kink go mainstream? Reply with quote

Some say it helps the scene by making us more aproachable. Others believe it 'cheapens' the scene by watering it down.

Almost everyone has an opinion on this topic - here's your chance.... post away!
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J.W.



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 10:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm actually quite happy with where it is right now. Small enough that everybody can get to know everybody else, but with enough presence in the world that outsiders can find the scene if they seek it out hard enough.

While I would love to have some more kink friendly movies come out in a big box office way, or some movies where the freaky tattooed kinky bastards are actually the good guys instead of the cookie cutter bad guys.

I am afraid that if Kink (fetish fashions, latex, bdsm etc.) were to go mainstream, then there wouldn't be a more accepting attitude about it, but more classification attached to everybody. Just as what happened with the Gay movement. It would just give people something to discriminate us against, not that they don't already.

I can hear the phrases "You're one of them freaky bondage people, aren't you?" right before the pink slip is handed over.

Then again...going mainstream may just mean that I could finally afford a lot of the specialty equipment that I've always drooled over.

Then again, I'm happy where the scene is right now. A happy medium.
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Jynx



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 1
Location: NC

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, First I want to say Hi. I just signed up. Secondly I wanted to add Kinky Sex Radio should stay were they are. Its awsome how such a small program gets out fast. I have tossed your name around once or twice around my friends and It surprises me how about 50% of them Have heard of you.

Now the thought About people reconizing you isnt such a bad thing. It could also open alot of doors to those closed minded people who with one look would lable you as a "sinner" or a "freak". People are scared of what they dont know and scared of shit thats new. My last words on this would have to be, Kinky Sex Radio Rocks My Socks !!

But Yeah, Do what you want, Its not like Im controlling you !

Or maybe I am ?!?! Twisted Evil

xoxo,
Jynx
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Non Sequitur Menagerie



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 14
Location: Middle of Nowhere, way north, Upstate NY

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Should kink go mainstream? In many ways, it is. You can pick up a copy of "Screw the Roses" or "Kinkycrafts" at your average (i.e., not urban) Barnes and Noble. Most people don't react with a "Kink? What's that?" sort of way, anymore. There is still plenty of misunderstandings, don't get me wrong, but I think that's because there's just enough mainstream kinkiness that people base all their opinions on movies like "Secretary" (which is a good movie, and Maggie Gyllenhaal is a fantastic sex kitten, but let's face it... it's not a good role model for a kinky relationship.. more two dysfunctional people whose dysfunctions line up) or "Exit to Eden." Or even worse, the "Beauty" series by Anne Rice (also available at most mainstream bookstores). And I think you'll admit, all of these portray a slightly warped image of the kinky subculture (how's that for an umbrella term?). Maybe the question isn't so much should kink become mainstream, but what is the face the kink community wants to present?

Personally, I'm glad kink has moved a bit more into the mainstream. It makes it easier for people in middle of nowhere places like me (seriously, the only thing near me is farmland) to get involved in it.

Cheers,
Non Sequitur Menagerie
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Sparky



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel it has in some ways gone mainstream but it has a long way before gains acceptance. I met someone from Louisianna and the BDSM scene there is all about what to do when the cops show up. Up until last year it was illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama. As some states allow same sex marriages the refendums failed in many states.
Should Kink go mainstream? Hell YES!!! and if we don't start making moves in that direction guess who's on the Supreme Court?
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mistressastelia



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 5
Location: beeville texas

PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Going mainstream has a couple of good things... yes now theres going to be more competition so many devices. tools, equipment would be way cheaper. Now when something goes mainstream you will have a BUNCH of freaking posers buying equipment when they dont even know how to properly use... nor the safety precautions with it because they just want to look cool. I believe right now is perfect... the only thing that is needed is "more" places with people interested in the lifestyle. In my case I live in the south texas area... a wee too far from San Antonio... I would just love to have a small group of people in this area that we could discuss anything BDSM related, rather than having bdsm as a mainstream thing.
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HogtieHer



Joined: 05 Jan 2006
Posts: 8
Location: Chicago area

PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Complicated Issue. First of all, in theory it would be a great advancment for the BDSM community. However we all know that what works in a lab enviroment often does not work in the "real world," and thats the case that would occur with taking kink mainstream. I do think that it will eventually happen, I once saw on MTV (a station owned and operated by DISNEY) some Bondage stuff, and a pornstar on the canel saying that if you do not try bondage sex your basically being left out.

Madonna is a example of mainstream kink, and I applaud her for the risky videos that incorporated bondage (a few years ago).
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nemo



Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 13

PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm one of the "newbies" to the whole kink world and I'm really glad that I found this podcast/forum. I agree that this current state of Kink is at a nice level. As someone just discovering it, I'm finding the information that I want to with out much problem and yet it's still out of the mainstream enough to keep in interesting. I think that is a part of it that I like.
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J.W.



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think one of the many things that I'm worried about seeing is a family sitcom based on the BDSM model. Or even seeing our Lifestyles referenced in amusing ways on current sitcoms and shows.

The one scene in Family guy and the scenes in Drawn Together were hilarious, but not very flattering. There was even a reality TV series on Sci Fi that touched very close to bdsm and kink.

These shows may expose the mainstream to our little niche, but our lifestyles or kinks can't be shown in a good light without a lot of information to support our kinks. Information that many in the media chose to ignore or are just not willing to share.

For example, it is easier to condemn a rock star for having an interest in bondage and bdsm by describing the pictures he has as 'women bound and blindfolded' than as erotic art.

Ours is a subject that is easier to villify than accept. In many ways, I think the only way kink will be mainstream will be as something bad.

These are just my thoughts though.
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savage



Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 3
Location: chicago

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i think kink is already a lot more prevalent than people think. the problem is the misrepresentation. you ask pretty much anybody if they like to get spanked during sex or hair pulled, most people say yeah. they just dont say or classify that as bdsm or kink. so i think the whole thing about kink going mainstream is more about awareness and correcting preconcieved notions. i mean most people only know about the whips and the crazy gimp masks from movies. the average vanilla couple would have no idea that feathers, ice cubes, or tickling can be part of kink.
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lqqkout



Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 5
Location: Ames, IA

PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree that many parts of kink are already mainstream - even the raunchiest toy store has those horrible Furry Cuffs and are starting to get more leatherwear and one-size-fits-all latex.

Savage has a great point - getting people to realize that seemingly vanilla things like hair pulling or biting are part of the broader kink realm is a challenge.

As to the original question: I think kink could stand to be a bit more mainstream, if only to help those closeted kinky folks "come out" to their partners. Vanilla sex has many great qualities, but kinky sex brings a lot more fun to the bedroom, dungeon, playspace and has the glorius side effect of promoting communication!
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Malavik



Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:00 pm    Post subject: I agree Reply with quote

i think kink has gone mainstream just like masturbation. i think people enjoy it and practice it, but much like masturbation it is a thing most people just dont talk about it. Masturbate Why of course i dont! you know something like that, i think people do, do it but rarely talk about it
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Lucid417



Joined: 04 Feb 2006
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure whether or not "mainstream" is a fair word to use. While I think Kink is far from mainstream, it's been homogenized into the realm of american popular culture, starting as far back as Bettie Page. I think society has become very comfortable with the idea of fishnets and paddles and black leather. I don't think the average person would be very comfortable knowing that their next door neighbors are chaining each other to the bed routinely, but as a society, we're comfortable with Kink (or at least adjusted to) in our media, even used as a societal mark, such as the kink that is consistently prevelant in the Matrix trilogy. There Kink is used as a mark to seperate these individuals from what we think of as "normal" human society. That would imply a societal understanding of at least the basic level of kink, which I think is convenient as a kinkster. At least most people don't think we're metally dysfunctional.
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Curiosity_34



Joined: 13 Feb 2006
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm very new to all of this. The fact that I was able to find out about it means that it already must be somewhat main stream. I think Savage made the best point. It depends on how mainstream everyday society classifies it as. For example: I always liked to have my hair pulled, biting or even spanked. I thought I just liked rough sex sometimes. It's what I like. It never became an issue nor was it a big deal until I realized (and was told) I'm kinky. I then felt naughty and alone. Not knowing there was a world of information and others just like me out there. It didn’t feel naughty until it was associated with kink. Once I found others like me it wasn’t so bad. Now I'm kinda proud to be a bit kinky *wink*
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sinnnical



Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 20
Location: cleveland

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

j.w. wrote : Ours is a subject that is easier to villify than accept. In many ways, I think the only way kink will be mainstream will be as something bad.

not that i believe kink is wrong or immoral ....i believe its that villinous (sp?) aspect that lead me here in the first place. in so many aspects of my everyday life im EXPECTED to be the good girl, and i simply cant be the villain as i would be out of a job, no car, no credit, no life! its that portrayed sense of what mainstream society shoves down my throat on a constant basis that made me the woman i am today. if i didnt have this dark, villian side of me that i get to express in a healthy way and in a group of peers who get what i go through.....i would no doubt be locked in a mental institution....driven mad from not having an outlet. i love that my fetishes and relationships are portrayed this way....i wouldnt have it any other way.

on the other hand, i understand that for many people this lifestyle is their means to a life and an income... and many would love to see the negative stereotypes broken down. to those brave individuals i say...rock out with your cock out. do what you have to do. its all about self expression....and i love that kink is so diverse. i guess i just enjoy it being villified....and am glad that it is to some degree.
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