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[sistert]

OK, this is just a question that I have to ask out of curiousity to know if it's just me or what?

Is it my imagination or do most men see women in the scene as bottoms/submissives/slaves? Especially in the club arena.

I'm a top/domme (depends on who I'm playing with) but must give off submissive vibes or something. Unless I've been seen playing or wearing something announcing I'm a sadist, male tops come up to me and ask if I'd like to play with them. The minute they understand that I'm not a bottom or that I don't even switch, they either ask me if I'm sure (yes, want to see my singletail?) or high tail it over to the next lady.

I'm a playful person by nature so I don't stay in the "Lick my boots!" mode all the freakin' time. And maybe that's the rub because that's not my personal style.

So before I rant on any further, thoughts please. Is it just generally an accepted thought that typically women bottom and typically men top? If a woman is not always acting like a Gestapo Bitch, does that make her any less a top?

[EuphoriaZ]

I think that, in general, there tend to be more female sumbissives and male dominants. I'm not sure if its a nature or nurture thing, but it has been my experience with the limited knowledge I have. I do have female friends who are very dominant, as well as a male friend who is very submissive.

Perhaps the reason it is assumed is more of a social thing, and more of how the kink has been portrayed to the outside community (these views influence everyone, including those inside the community, at least subconciously).

Also, you see what may be a parallel to this with guys and lesbians. The whole "are you sure? I can change your mind" aspect is there, as you had experienced at your meetup.
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Careful, I bite!
~Rebekkah

[OneBoundPirate]

I almost would say that alot of this assumption and stereotyping comes from our history. In most cultures, men were in charge and women were suppose to follow their orders, and this still holds true in many places. The whole weaker of the sexes issue. I still meet men who, although not into the scene (that they know of) decide they can order anyone with a vagina around that usually, although I am submissive, results in them getting slapped.
But I really do believe that it is just tied in with our past, when women could be beat, men kept mistresses openly, and everyone seemed to believe it was what should be. And how many women still take care of the household cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. I sometimes wonder if my partner would starve to death if I never cooked....
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Run Rabbit, Run.

[EuphoriaZ]

See, i've been trying to have this discussion in my Social Problems class at school. The teacher is such a feminist liberal that its hard to ge any point across withut your opinions being shot down.

ANYways basically the way I look at it:
Yes, there are a lot of historical examples of males being the dominant sex. My question is why, basically. Yo see the same thing in the animal kingdom, for the most part. I am of the mindset that, while it isnt an absolute thing, physically, men have more of the drive and capability to be dominant, while women have more of a submissive tendency. Its nt absolute, but I am very sure there are definate biological reasons. Yay for that research being taboo. =/
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Careful, I bite!
~Rebekkah

[littleMiss]

well... some animals, females are the dominant. but... for help with your prof, i'd suggest looking at some carol pateman pieces, she was a feminist but thought about your question. or, you can always look at some of the elizabeth cady stanton speeches, she has a LOT to say about men...
well, good luck! ps- philosophy does deal with this question, all the way back to Plato's republic and more.

[curiousaussiebabe]

I like to think of myself more like the female trapdoor spider, who eats the male after mating! Seroiusly though, there are so many male chauvinists out there still unfortunately, who think that women should still be seen but not heard. I am heavily involved in football, and the amount of men that have refused to listen to my opinion, or just plain ignore that I exist is just astonishing! My partner is very liberated in that regard ( I am the dominant), it just shocks me that we really haven't come that far. I tell you, there are some men that I would love to show the business end of my flogger.
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I'll try anything once, or twice!

[Prof. Tom]

I keep hearing that truly dominant men are rare. I'm not saying it's true, just that submissive women keep telling me they are rare.

Any sub girls have thoughts on this?
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Prof. Tom
Kinky Sex Radio

[EuphoriaZ]

Truly dominant people in general are very rare, in my opinion. Bothe for men and women really.
_________________
Careful, I bite!
~Rebekkah

[OneBoundPirate]

But we have to begin by defining "truly dominate". I mean, are we talking about someone who is dominate in every action every day, because I usually think of them as assholes (pardon my french). But that would be what truly dominate is to me: on a daily basis ordering everyone around and expecting their orders to be followed without fail. But if we're talking someone who is Mr. Joe Regular day to day, but comes home and expects their slave to be naked kneeled at the door waiting for them then yes, I do believe they're out there. But damn I wish I could find one. I guess it would be contradictory to say I have a master in training, eh?
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Run Rabbit, Run.

[EuphoriaZ]

What I think of, when I think of the true dominant I was talking about, is someone who cannot be submissive, and more often than not favors being dominant over vanilla. In my mind this always has to do with sex, but I understand that there are completely non-sexual ways to be dominant or sumissive. I would say I am 95% a true submissive, as Ipretty much only like being submissive. I've had plenty of vanilla sex, but to be honest, its very boring, even when I love my partner. As for being dominant, sometimes I end up in that position, but I really get no enjoyment out of it whatsoever.
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Careful, I bite!
~Rebekkah

[Lasher]

[Lasher]

[ScorpioSub]