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[LatexLady]

I have 2 Questions for you

1.What sort of events, thoughts, feelings or anything that happened to you, or that you saw which lead you down the road of BDSM?

2.The BDSM lifestyle to you.. is it just a phase?

I DON’T think it is! But I thought I would ask this question because someone asked me that! .. Personally do You think it is? I know there will be long replies to this, but I was just very curious



~peace

[ScorpioSub]

[quote="LatexLady"]I have 2 Questions for you [/quote]

The short answers...

[quote]1.What sort of events, thoughts, feelings or anything that happened to you, or saw that lead you down the road of BDSM?[/quote]

I suppose that even in my earliest sexual experiences (with another person at least) I leaned in the BDSM direction, though I don't think I realized it at the time... I was aware that there was [i]something[/i], but I certainly couldn't put a name to it. I guess that I was about 18 at the time. Yeah, I was a "late bloomer" LOL. In those situations I wanted the person I was with the hold my arms down while on top of me and that sort of thing. There was a guy I dated in college (a relationship that was totally unfulfilling for me, which I now think was because I hadn't yet "found" kink) and the only thing he ever did that I really liked was the time or two he grabbed me by the ring in my collar (at that point a goth/fashion type thing, though subconsciously it was probably much more). Not long afterwards I got into a very long conversation with a friend of mine and towards the end he made a comment about [i]what he was into[/i] and about the fact that he'd noticed that I demonstrated some very submissive tendencies. As the same time I was asking what he meant, a light sort of switched on in my brain and all of a sudden I had a name for the things I'd been feeling. I started experiencing things with him and also started seeking experiences in the local community. I was formally with him for about 2 and a half years he and I are still very close. I do both D/s and SM play, though I bottom to more people than I submit to. When I bottom, I tend to play heavy. The things I am into and the people I do them with evolve over time and I'm usually up for trying new things.

[quote]2.The BDSM lifestyle to you.. is it just a phase?[/quote]

No, I really don't think that it is. Certainly the role of BDSM in my life and relationships will change over time and with different relationships, that's just to be expected. Looking back at all of my relationships and "play" experiences I realize now that "vanilla" just doesn't do it for me. It isn't how I'm wired, or however you want to put it. Could I live without kink/BDMS/WIITWD? Sure, I probably could. Would I be happy or fulfilled? I honestly don't think so. I've been in the scene now about 3 and a half years and have tried to be pretty involved, being a DM at events and "helping out" in other ways. *shrug* Hopefully that at least sort of answered the question.

PS
There doesn't seem to be a spell check feature, and my head hurts so my editing may not be up to par. Sorry for any typos, spelling errors, poor grammar and the like.[/i][quote][/quote]

[J.W.]

1.What sort of events, thoughts, feelings or anything that happened to you, or saw that lead you down the road of BDSM?

The first time I saw anything related to bdsm was a playboy magazine that had a photo spread of japanese bondage. I was around 10. Naked women were nice, but the way the ropes were done up on the girls captivated me.
I was fortunate to have a parent that saw me as mature enough to provide me with adult literature throughout my teenage years and I would scour them for the kinky adds in the back. I also had the developing internet to thank for providing me results for my growing vocabulary.
I was also very fortunate to have a friend whose mother was a profesional dominatrix and once I turned 18 I was introduced to her dungeon and the play parties that occured there. I made a lot of friends that I wish I had kept in contact with there.
I'm a voracious reader and I ate up all the literature I could that was related to the subject.
I moved to florida and found an entirely different world of bdsm than what I had experienced before. This is where my experiences truly began. I had to leave that part of the country and that particular world when I went to college. While I'm still interested, the area is too conservative to really offer me anything other than a hint or tease of those who only have a passing interest in the image of bdsm.

2.The BDSM lifestyle to you.. is it just a phase?

For me it is an ideal. Something to aspire too. I've seen too many vanilla relationships fall apart because they never communicated with each other, or they didn't trust or respect each other. In a BDSM lifestyle relationship; those qualities are vital to a successful short term relationship and built into a long term one. Is it a phase? No.

Goth was more of a phase for me only because I can't maintain my gothic wardrobe like I once was able too.
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