KinkySexRadio.com

[J.W.]

Here's a hotbed if I ever saw one.

I would just like to voice that I have never seen an African American Submissive. I've seen plenty of African American Tops/ Masters/ Doms/ Dommes/ and Mistresses, but never a submissive.

I would just like to hear some opinions as to why not. Or even some examples of African American Submissives. Or better yet; African American Slaves (in the bdsm sense), those who find fullfillment in servitude.

My opinion; (Key word; Opinion) There's too much social pressure against anything even associated with the word slave that they can't or won't seek to understand what it means in any sense beyond what their ancestors were forced to endure.

I'm sure I can go deeper, but I would like to hear what somebody else has to say.

Big Freaking Disclaimer; Don't make this topic anything other than a topic of conversation.
_________________
Don't worry, it's only kinky once.

[Prof. Tom]

I have had experience with African-American females. Two different women. Both used the word slave, both joked about the social pressure and history of their race being a factor in the taboo nature. In other words, it was hot because it was sooooo wrong.

We never engaged in "race" play. But, I think that was because I was a nuerotic white boy. We just played slave/master games and scenarios like I had with other races.

This happened when I was younger. I think if I were to do it again, I would do a little exploration or racial taboos. It would be.... well, interesting.
_________________
Prof. Tom
Kinky Sex Radio

[mistressastelia]

You see... that is something very interesting... I have met several slaves that are african americans who are submissive. The bad thing is that for Me it feels a bit weird... because not only they are submissive... but then they indulge in the name calling and degradation... where I feel totally unconfortable.
I had this slave come to Me online... he seemed very nice... yet at some point in the conversation he said " let this monkey slave worship you". I was like "woah?" I couldnt believe he wanted to be called in that way. Also theres the ones that enjoy being called by the N word.
Its true... its a very difficult topic specially with all the history... I know I am simply not very confortable treating black slaves in that way.
_________________
Mistress Astelia

[Prof. Tom]

kind of a similiar idea...

I was talking to a young lady online who is jewish (should I capitalize that?) and she really loved humiliation, but she wanted it to be insults about her race. She wasn't self-hating or anything, she claimed that she loved being a jew - she just thought it was hot.

Could you do the same thing with a minor taboo? What about fat people? Girls with small breasts?
_________________
Prof. Tom
Kinky Sex Radio

[mistressastelia]

That is interesting. I see nothing wrong when you use something like their personal features to humiliate them... I use males with small penises and its just perfect for humilation... I love it... they love it. Now when its race, theres like a moral issue... because in my opinion I get this "kinda" guilt feeling if I say something that would be in any way demeaning to their race.
It's a very difficult topic indeed. I guess its up to the person and how they secure they feel around this type of humiliation ways. I know racism humiliation would be a limit for Me... unless I really knew the person... you never know who would go around saying you are a "nig*** hater, or a jew hater".
_________________
Mistress Astelia

[Non Sequitur Menagerie]

I've met with and been approached by several different ethnicities who wanted me to take a dominant role (considering I'm a "switch with submissive preferences," that's an interesting request to begin with) and many of them preferred as least some focus on their racial/cultural heritage. Since I'm about as pasty and blonde as they come, it seemed extra exciting for them to have someone as Germanic looking as me to do it.

Wasn't terribly comfortable for me, though. With one person, after talking things through, I was able to pull it off, but I didn't use any of the "obvious" racial stuff. That's my own limit... coming from a fairly racist family (thanks, Dad), I have a higher standard I hold myself to. It was an interesting challenge to think of ways to make it obvious without resorting to the "n" word (for example). If I'm remembering correctly, I did rely heavily on "Boy" and "Toby" for one person specifically. It's not something I'd like to make a habit of.

I think in private play, I could see the appeal of having whatever options (ethnicity, physical aspects, whatever) be fodder for humiliation. As I'm not big into BEING humiliated, by and large, it's something I'm not particularly keen on doing. It's something that I think would involve some pretty deep discussion on, especially if you were doing anything publically.

[Sinmngrl]

I don't think there is anything wrong with doing what you & your partner are comfy with.
I can only speak for myself that although someone might want me to and tell me it's okay. I don't think I would do it. I would be to uncomfortable, not with doing it, but the backlash if they ever got upset with me. I mean that could come with anything you do behind closed doors. I would rather be viewed as a freak in the bedroom than a racist.
_________________
“I call the computer! I call the special chair!"

www.Nobodies.libsyn.com
www.sinmngrlandfntmstranger.blogspot.com

[match]

A current submissive play partner of mine is black (I'm white). I agree that there are not many as most African-Americans I've meet in the scene are either Doms, Master or Tops.

I'm sure there is a social paper on the topic ready to be written somewhere as to why that is but same goes for why anyone likes anything.

She is very into Flogging, Rope play (her big interest) and servitude. Speaking as a white male Top, when playing with a person of a different race we (generalization) may often feel inhibited by our social stigmas of "P.A." I guess my only comment to that is that Kink knows no color bounds.

We as bottoms like to bottom because, well, we like being Flogged, whipped, stepped on and subjected to whatever gets us off. We as Tops like being Tops for the same reasons.

Have I ever been in a 'Racial Scene'? No. Would I? Only if I was very comfortable with the person and knew the limits, but isn't that the same as any humiliation scene?

In the end, we all like what we like because we like it. Their race, our race should only play a part if we want it or let it.

[truelight86]

(please read the whole thing, there is a point in there some where )
I havent seen any responses from a black person on this yet so I guess I'll be the frist. I am switch with a top preferance so even if I were to sub(which I havent don much of but like to) I dont think I would go very deep into it. But I have a theory why some people get into the D/s kink in the first place which does sound very freudian, they all stem from some sort of constant in your life as a child. Either you had an overbearing, controlling, or maybe even (not nessicarily) abusive parent, or you may have lived in a very racist area and the first people you were atracted to or kids you played with were just racist or biggited in some way that you get used to being humilliated and start to like it as a deffinse to cope. (please excuse the runon sentence).
Either way to the white doms that feel guilty when playing with the black subs I think you don't have to worry as much as you do. You may feel bad but this is what the person wants to reach some sort of gratification, and all kinks are just people enjoying themselfs and eachother. I think that some of you may fear that you may "fall" into being racist by using the terms in scenarios, but just because you play a role it doesn't mean you have to let the role become a part of you. Just like with a rape scenario or any role playing if you know the general bounderies and what "safe word" brings you out of that scenario you can have fun within that world you creat. I guess the main thing to think about is there is a big defferance between being out on the street and saying " I hate those nige*s" and being with a sub that asks you to call them "my good little nige*"

[semiramis72]

I’m glad we’re talking about this. Sorry I didn’t have time to respond earlier. I am a black female submissive; that is to say I am a slave without a Master right now. Since entering the Scene I am quite aware that I’m one of just a few; sometimes the only one. Yes, we’re rare...but not too rare, thank goodness. Check out Black Women for Submission and Dark Connections’ History of Black BDSM for some insight...and some absolutely gorgeous inages

Allow me to give you my perspective, with the understanding that I cannot speak for another. My submissive nature, my need to devote myself to a Person, has been suppressed for years trying to fit the stereotype of the Strong Black Woman—outspoken, stern, fiercely independent yet protective, overachieving, almost emasculating. I have been taught that these are survival tactics, because to show “weakness” would betray both my race and my gender. We seem to have an image of being either hypersexual or asexual, but whatever end of the scale we fall, the conventional wisdom is to seem “dominant” to counteract the history of being unwilling secret concubines to slave owners. Or something like that. That’s a theory I’ve been kicking around. [sarcasm]If having a vanilla relationship with a white man is still controversial, wanting a white Master to own me would set the civil rights movement back some 141 years. And we can’t have that, can we?[/sarcasm]

I affect a dominant role well enough for me to get ahead in the Army and my current job. But when a guy asked me to take a dominant role in bed, it never felt right. But when one boyfriend (who happened to be white) tagged me on my behind, that was it. I liked the pain. And his demeanour was just powerful. That put me on the right path.

I grew up in the South when hitting your child on the buttocks and thighs with a belt or switch was not considered abuse. Discipline was a show of love and protection growing up, so is it any wonder I revel in spankings, floggings, whippings and ooh! canings? (My enjoyment of bondage and humiliation would manifest much later.) I learned to stop fighting that part of me and explore it, and I’ve never looked back.

About the word slave. My preference is white or Asian men, and I have had the honor of serving a Master from each race. They called me slave, and I was proud to earn the title. For me, there is no stigma to that word. I am aware of the one thing that makes me different from the bondswomen I come from: choice. I choose to become a slave, and I do not make that choice lightly. My Master chooses me to be His slave, and He does not make that choice lightly. There is no fear, no stripping of self-esteem or culture, no violation, no desire to be delivered. I am His willing concubine.

(Y’know, I’d like for the term “concubine” to make a comeback. It sounds so sexy!)

Neither Master felt the need or desire to engage in “race play.” I think it was enough for Them to possess someone “exotic,” and though They could call me bitch, slut, and even the C-word (which I wouldn’t dream of saying outside of that context), it did not empower Them to go there. My most recent Master said He felt that saying those things devalue Him, not me. “Racism comes from fear and ignorance. I’m neither afraid nor ignorant of you, slave.” Profound, but still the opinion of one person; I'm sure others may take a different view.

It’s also not something I’m not comfortable with at this stage. I still get angry watching movies like Mississippi Burning, and the N-word is still very powerful in a negative way. Someday I’d like to work with someOne I deeply trust to take the power away from racial epithets, but the both of us would have to come out better because of it.
_________________
shannon

"Don't believe what you hear, see, or read. Believe what you think."

~Anonymous

[Mr Gone]

[littleMiss]

all I can say is, THANK YOU! I have been having an issue with trying to figure out that topic for myself too. I am as about as Scotch-Irish looking as they come, (pale skin, red hair and bright blue eyes) and my Master? fiance is full-blooded Filipino. He deals with racism in his own town, being called the N-word before, and I'd been having a hard time as he and his friends seemed to use it as frequently as just any other word. I think the social stigma attached seems to be the biggest hindrance to the use of the word in a poitive way at all, as I used to abhor the C one too, and am slowly learning that it is just a word, the only ill-meaning attatched to it is because we attatch it ourselves through socialization. (can you tell I am a Philosophy/Politics major? lol) The biggest issue we also seem to come across is the weight issue too, why is there a social stigma attatched to someone who is overweight, with someone half their size? In the BDSM scene, I adore the fact that no one bats an eye at the weight difference, but when we go out in public, people give us strange looks.

I mean, I know this little Mistress is young and new and all, but some people confound me!!
Oh! and if anyone is over in Britian, drop me an email, I'll be moving that way in December and want to find people He and I can consort with there....

[C4bl3Fl4m3]

I know this isn't exactly OT, but this group might be helpful in finding people to talk to about this.

Black B.E.A.T. = http://www.blackbeatinc.org/