KinkySexRadio.com

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Read both parts and then I'll bring them together.

Part 1.) I've noticed that a lot of people, when they do kinky stuff (whether it's participate in the public Scene in their area or doing a kinky podcast online), use a pseudonym. People say it's to protect themselves and/or their privacy.

Part 2.) This year the keynote speaker (if you could call it that) for DC's Dyke March was Jessie Holms-Ahart, Ms. International Leather 2005. She's a local and just an all-around great woman (hot as fuck, too!). She mentioned how she sometimes goes out to regular bars and talks to people and when guys inevitably start hitting on her, she's honest not just about being a dyke but about being in the leather community. People start asking questions and she answers them truthfully. She says that the more we're out about ourselves and our kinks, the more that people will realize that we're just like everyone else and won't hate us/discriminate against us so much.

I'd have to agree with her. I use the screen name that I use all across the web for my various interests... kink, sex, geekdom, hackerdom, my blog, whatever have you. The reason I don't use my real name isn't because of my hiding my kink, but rather because my blog is my personal diary and therefore talks about things like self-mutilation and suicidal thoughts and other such things.

In the scene in public, I just use my real name.

So here's the thing. Why does everyone feel such a strong need to be in the closet? (I'm not attacking, I'm curious.) Why are people like "oh, what if work finds out" or "having a kinky sex podcast show up on my resume isn't very professional" (to use Prof. Tom's example)? In Prof. Tom's case, as we all know, the podcast is from an informational and not a pornographic standpoint... and I don't think there's anything not-professional about education, including when it's about sexuality (especially when it's about sexuality).

Perhaps I don't get it because I live intentionally in a liberal and permissive area and I live my life like "This is who I am. If you have a problem with it, it's your problem, not mine." and I don't think being interested in sex and being interested in kink is anything to be ashamed of. But then, I also want to be a sexual educator at some point in my life and removing the stigma around sex and around kink is one of my goals of being a sexual educator.

So... any answers? Any thoughts? Is all this honesty going to come back to bite me in the ass 5, 10, 25 years down the road?

I'd love to hear people debating both sides of this.